I feel like I am out of breath and coughing initially but I think it was more like he was quite weak at the end and very susceptible to coughs and colds the more sick he became. (I do feel like he was a smoker at some stage) He tells me you’re not doing the best job of looking after yourself right now and its time to put you first for a while and let others look out for themselves. You need you right now. He misses you “Oh god” how can he put that into words – there are no words to tell you how empty he feels without you. But is he ok? Yes of course he’s ok, if you are ok he is ok. He’s looking after the kids just like you ask. He’s glad you are getting on with life its important that you do – someone has to, he laughs!
Its really hard for me to write it feels uncomfortable and hard, I’m not sure English and writing were his best subjects at school but I feel like he doesn’t have great control over his muscles or his hands towards the end either. Please keep smiling and when you smile in the mirror at yourself imagine him smiling right back at you. He draws a heart and says we will see each other again soon (well not too soon) I like his sense of humour. Keep moving forward he says and you can’t go back, remember that, forward is all you can do and he’s going to keep pushing you to do that.
All my love R