“You don’t need a Psychic (he says with disrespect :-)) to know I’m ok, of course I’m ok – I’ve done what I needed to do, lived how I needed to live and now I’m gone but I’m ok – I mean I miss you everyday that’s for sure – well maybe not the nagging ha ha but definitely the fun we had. OH he says you need to remember the fun that’s what I hang onto, the fun and love and laughter and you gave me lots of that as did the kids – grey hair too!
I’m definitely OK, I’m adjusting to being the new kid on the block, I know it feels like I’ve abandoned you but I promise I haven’t, you just have to grieve for me and then after the intense grief you will feel me or know I’m around more.
He makes me feel like you have 2 boys – ‘he’s of course worried about them, one especially is struggling as he is so worried about you and wants you to be ok – he says just love them, words are not always necessary just love them! He likes that you are all being there for each other, he likes that a lot, he knows you are trying shut out the world but he asks you not to – be with people who want to support you but tell them they don’t need to fix you – just their company is enough. “Sarla” I’ll always love our life and how you made it for us – I wasn’t perfect and could’ve done things differently but I did my best and that’s all you can do!
Now Christmas – I’m there every minute in your memories of Christmas past and this year will be different, it will be a new memory without me – it doesn’t have to be sad just because I’m not there – LIVE that’s all I want for you all, live the life I can’t and be the best you can, I’ll be watching you always. Please know my love I’m not alone, there are plenty of people here to keep me happy and occupied and with all the love you gave me to take with me how can I possibly feel sad and alone?
Miss you now and forever All my love C X