Bev (Beverley) Holgate (Taryn Holgate)

She quite literally is taking my breath away, my chest feels heavy and it’s hard to breathe and I am tight in my throat and there’s a heavy cough. I’m sorry she says really I am – you’ve had to endure so much without me. I’m watching, of course I am, where else would I be if not right there with you.

Now, you know I’m at peace, you know I’m OK but what you don’t know is that I miss you as much and as often as you miss me. Yes I do. You’ve been making a few big choices and I want to thank you for listening to that voice in your head – that’s me, well done!

I could’ve done so much more and you need to make sure you are too. I’m not missing a beat so you still can’t hide anything from me, so there. I’m happy being cooler, I never really loved the heat but anyway the wedding I missed was terrific, really beautiful. I feel as if there are a couple she’s missed and one in the making.

A little boy sees her, he’s very little but he sees her so trust him when he says so. I’m not lonely but I just miss your hugs and our chats and fights – well disagreements.

Love you all X

Merry Christmas and thank you for keeping me and my traditions going.

All my love